Holy Grail, check. Next stop, Atlantis!

Do you see that fabric? (And yes, it's draped over a dictionary stand, but never mind that for now.) I've been looking for that fabric for at least eight years. Not just black-and-white polka dots, mind you, but HUGE black-and-white polka dots. Offensive, flamboyant, elephantiasic black-and-white polka dots. The glasses are there to give you an idea of the scale, so you don't think they're just puny neurasthenic polka dots in extreme closeup.

[Of course, after searching for this for years, I found it when I wasn't looking: I stopped at Vogue for just TWO MINUTES -- seriously, I put a nickel in the parking meter -- to get some baby-blue denim for a quick skirt, and there it was, hanging with the remnant silks. Three yards! Less than $20 total! I was so happy, I even forgot that I had a headache and a pesky persistent sore throat and two hundred emails to answer.]

Why would I want such polka dots, you ask? Am I trying out for the artiest clown troupe ever? Am I trying to win a bet by getting someone to say to me "My, what big ... polka dots ... you have"? Did I want the "I'm a mime" version of this skirt? (Well, now that I think about it, yes, but that's not why.)

I want this fabric because somewhere (I know it's in the house, but I haven't seen it since we moved, otherwise I would scan it for you, you know I would) I have a picture of my mother, at my parents' engagement party. She's looking soignée and chic and happy, with a bouffantish blonde bob and a drink in one hand, and she's wearing a black-and-white polka-dot dress. It's got an empire waist and a square neck and HUGE dots, and I have to admit that this is a dress that I think about probably more than is healthy.

It's not that my mom's not happy now (c'mon, she has the world's best grandbabies) or that I'm fetishizing my parents' marriage (they're now genially divorced) -- it's just, when I look at my mom, I still see the girl in that picture, who was younger than I am now, and I still admire her sense of style. My mom is someone who can wear polka dots THAT BIG, dammit, and make it look good. And if I've inherited anything from her, that's what it is, and that's what I want to emphasize.

So the reification of the totemic dress can commence, now that I have the fabric!