It's a New Sewing Machine! Made of Dead Fish!

Janet (of zimmersarmy) sent me this image. Doesn't it look like this poor woman would rather be holding a dead wombat that a sewing machine? Of course, those things are heavy, and maybe the illustrator used a model who was thinking the whole time, "I don't want to drop this on my foot!" Except she was probably thinking that in German, and I'm terribly sorry, but the several years of German I was exposed to (I can't say 'took', because it obviously didn't take) did not equip me to express that in German. I'm pretty sure the words wollen and Fuss are involved. And possibly nicht. Given my track record, though, if I were to put those words together, it's more likely than not to come across as "Please, a foot I do not wish to be."

It's unfortunate that the ad makes what was probably a kick-ass machine look as if it smells awful.

Also, after resorting to a German-English dictionary, I feel ALMOST confident asserting that hausschneiderei means "home dressmakers". The translation of the rest of the ad I leave as an exercise for you, dear readers.