Today's Pattern Story (and Sale)

"Random Bride," America's favorite faux-relationship reality show, shook the dice once again in its stunning season finale, marrying ALL the contestants to men plucked from a random casting call held earlier this year in the Silver Lake Starbucks.

Contestants had earlier been told that they would be competing for a dream wedding package, including a "mystery groom."

"This way we're ALL winners," declared Claire Deloon, the fan favorite and season-long front runner. "Except for the girls not getting endorsement deals, of course."

"All the brides were so radiant, so toned, so downright obsessive about the details, that we thought it would be a shame not to marry them all off," said Executive Producer Larry Lumpen.

After the multiple-couple ceremony, the newly-married couples celebrated in a reception on the soundstage. Their honeymoons are also being taken jointly, and will be filmed for a future "Random Bride: After the Cake" special. (Airdate TBD.)

Next season, the producers are planning to launch "Random Bride: Ball and Chain," where three lucky women will have the weddings of their dreams ... to men serving life sentences in maximum-security prisons.

[Writing this I can't believe how downright plausible it all sounds ... sanctity of marriage my foot. And yes, I'm looking at you, Maine!]

(Today's pattern is from Wendy at PatternStash -- you can get 15% off just by mentioning "dressaday" in the message to the seller. You can use this code for her patterns at ecrater, too.)

Comments

[Disrepaired]

Wow this post so had me going for a minute. I wasnt paying attention to which link I had clicked on from my RSS feed and was thinking this really was about some amazingly weird American TV show! I need more sleep.

[DragonPoodle]

Hilarious! and at least as good a way of pairing people off as my first 3 marriages. (the 4th was a keeper).

[Alice]

What a hoot! Thanks for the giggles!

[Alice]

What a hoot! Thanks for the giggles!

[Cookie]

The bride to the far left looks quite...well, like shes sucking a concealed hard candy. Or a lemon wedge. I think she expected to be the evenings big winner.

[Lisa Simeone]

OMG, Im in stitches (so to speak)! Especially at Claire Deloon!!

[Packrat]

LOL funny. To me they all look like they are crying. Its the dress. Makes them look like theyre carrying saddle bags on the side of their hips.

[Hana]

Huh. Thats rather scary... and yes, the pattern illustration is rather strange, their faces are. Ive never seen such before.

[Vegan]

I was also very disappointed in the vote in Maine! Thanks for mentioning it!

[Latter-Day Flapper]

It IS creepy how plausible this sounds. *Shudder*.

[Theresa]

Sorry to sound like a parrot but I loved the Claire Deloon...also I wouldnt be at all suprised if some network saw this and decided to run with it...its not too far from Who wants to marry my dad, the Bachelor/ette and Cougar....

[Jen]

This story could easily become a reality show, which is one reason why I dont watch TV any more.I think the illustrator for this pattern is Steven Stipelman, one of the last great illustrators for WWD (his illustration text is a benchmark)One last thing: anyone else notice the Renaissance style strip sleeve construction? Amazing!

[Liz]

Larry Lumpen, giggles.

[Gina]

This post made me remember the Mystery Date game I played as a kid. Wikipedia refreshed my memory: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Date_(game)How thinking has changed. I cant imagine buying a game for a little girl that says, lets work on your wardrobe so you can be ready for the guys when you can actually start dating!Oh, right, The Swan, et. al. Guess we havent changed that much.

[Carla]

This was a positively creepy story. Shudder.

[Cookie]

The one on the far right has fallen asleep on her feet.

[Susan]

I love your blog. I just had to say that. Keep it up.

[bani]

I was totally falling for it too. *exhales*

[Sara]

I love those dresses! But I cannot watch the show. Sorry.;)

[Anonymous]

Last Saturday evening, a friend and I assumed doorkeeper responsibilities passing out candy to trick-or-treaters so Mommy and Daddy could both escort their 2-year-old daughter. We both commented on the large number of girls dressed as brides. We also congratulated ourselves for not giving each girl a lecture on how being a bride should not be the ultimate goal of every woman. --Karen

[dulcet]

For some reason this illustration reminds me of Ed Gorey.

[Bridget B.]

Wow! This is awesome . . . as is your gentle-nose thumbing at the recent events in Maine . . .

[DivaJean]

I think the first bride (short sleeves w/ veil) looks most like an Edward Gorey drawing. She has a strange sideways glance towards the bridemaid in pink- a forlorn longing that she cant marry her perhaps.... or maybe thats just me over-interpreting.

[Anonymous]

DivaJean, I think its the two on the RIGHT that are secretly an item! Theyre planning their escape to a friendlier state (Mass.?)even as we speak.-Sandra

[beangirl]

O.M.G.Thats all I can say.O.M.G.(Im laughing too hard to say anything else)