Bacon dress!

Thanks to Ben for this link to the Bacon Dress. You can read more about it here.

Of course, you'd want to accessorize with this and these. And don't forget this. If you're wearing it to a party (which I hope you are, because wearing a bacon dress to sit around at home and get grease on your own couch seems pretty sad), you could wrap a present in this. If someone gets too close to you with their fork, you could cover the resulting puncture wounds with these.

But I still don't know what this is all about.