What I Would Wear (If I Were A Guy)

For a long time I've toyed with a kind of "Dress A Day Guide To Style For Guys" but I've never done it, mostly because I hate any kind of fashion writing that says YOU SHOULD WEAR THIS, NO, REALLY, BECAUSE I SAID SO, C'MON NOW, ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME MAD? People should wear what they want to wear (as long we all agree that "want to wear" = "made a conscious, thoughtful decision to wear").

So yesterday I realized, hey, I could do a post about what *I* would wear if I were a guy. And yes, I know, unisex styles, androgyny, blah blah blah, but let's face it: nobody who calls her blog "A Dress A Day" spends a lot of time Dietriching around in a suit.

First off: if I were a guy I would totally do the kilt thing:



Because, despite being named "Erin", I'm Scots (if you go back a couple hundred years or so) and secondly, girls love 'em. (I'm just assuming here that if I were a guy I'd be a straight guy.) Believe me, walk down the street in a kilt (even if you don't look like David Tennant) and you'll be beating them off with a stick. You might actually need a caber, come to think of it.

I also like the suit and sneakers look:




(What, did you think I was going to use someone other than Ten to illustrate this point?)

I think this works best when the sneakers are not of the highly-athletic sort. Saturday sneakers rather than performance sneakers, if you know what I mean. (Although this also mostly works.)

I also like the ironic and somewhat ratty t-shirt look:



In fact, if I were a guy, I would INVENT pretend bands, photoshop up the tour t-shirts, and have one-offs printed up for me. Then, when asked if I liked the band whose shirt I was wearing, I would say "These guys? They sold out. They suck now."

If I were a guy, I would only wear Levi's jeans. Period. No fancy jeans. This would be non-negotiable. In a pinch, or if I were invited to a rodeo (AS A PARTICIPANT) I would consider Wranglers.

If I were a guy, I would wear these shoes with everything.

If I were a guy, I would always have a brushed-aluminum mechanical pencil on my person. (I usually do now, anyway.)

If I were a guy, I would totally copy Francis and wear the funky tie/shirt combo.

If I were a guy, I'd wear seersucker suits, only I'd wear them with a t-shirt & sneakers, not a dress shirt and tie:



If I were a guy, I'd wear paisley shirts.

Of course, lots of things would still be the same in my closet. I'd still wear heavy-framed glasses, bright colors, plastic watches, and Jack Purcells.

I even like the sport-coat-and-shorts combo. But never, under any circumstances (unless maybe I lost a serious bet) would I show up in this:



I promise.