Save This Dress! Or not.

Oh, jeebus. Have you ever passed by a stray cat, missing one eye and bereft of most of its fur, and thought "Oh, you poor thing!" and taken it home? Or seen a perfectly run-of-the-mill jerk and thought "Gee, he seems interestingly broken, my love will HEAL HIM!" and done the same? Or decided that a total teardown is your "fixer-upper"? Well, that's the way I feel about this dress.

I can't even begin even a half-hearted apologia for the collar, so let's pass over it in silence. Nor for the sleeves, which seem to be fashioned expressly to let your upper-arm bingo wings run free and frolic. The skirt looks like they drew it up from a 1940s fabric-rationing guidebook--this much and not one inch more! But even if I took off the collar, narrowed the sleeves, and fattened up the skirt, it would still look like something that would get you mistaken for one of the housekeeping staff in a nicer hotel.

I'm sure my feelings for this dress are all about the pockets, with additional subliminal influence from the shoes in the illustration, which I covet fiercely. And a little bit because the women wearing these things look like they are just one sneering look from passers-by away from becoming a girl gang, on the model of Charlie's Angels. Obviously. I mean, they have the brainy brunette (ringleader and commandant, as she is central), the ditsy blonde (you can tell, because she's looking in the wrong direction AND wearing blue gingham) and the exotic and feisty person of color (who despite being EXOTIC! and OF COLOR! has unthreateningly Caucausian features). Notice how the brunette has to hold her back, lest she open up her can of whoop-ass prematurely.

Luckily, I very rarely give in to the "it's-broken-I-must-fix-it" impulse nowadays. If you want to offer this pattern comfort, click on the image and pay your $4 on eBay. I think I will just go watch some buttkicking women on TV (Buffy, Alias, old Doris Day movies--what? she does metaphorical buttkicking, and has better clothes!) and look for two-tone platform oxfords online.

Comments

[Becky O.]

It's the shoes, Emily. You are drawn to the shoes!It shows how you can perk something up with accessories.I must say, if you take off the sleeves, change the tie in the back to a real belt that sits on the hips and just remove the collar, this would be very mod.

[Raven]

So,pre-reading your post, my first thought was, "at least they are wearing great shoes!"Post-reading your post, I agree with Becky, I think you are drawn to the shoes.Looking at the blonde in the blue gingham, she does somehow make me think the dress is salvageable. I would remove the sleeves all together, and leave the rest as is. In a really quality fabric, and of course with fabulous shoes, I think the dress could be pulled off. However, due to all the fabric I've got sitting in the closet, and the giant box of patterns that have yet to be pulled out of their envelopes...I'm just not the one to do it.I want someone to, though, just so I can see their results!

[Anonymous]

This dress reminds me of the uniforms the waitresses needed to wear at a mouldery restaurant I bartended at years ago. Just thing of it in black with a white colar and white nurse's shoes. See what a change of accessories can do?Amy

[Anonymous]

I was gonna go snap this one up, but someone named juliebelle184y1 beat me to it. Damn!!! juliebelle184y1, are you on this blog? I'd love to trace this iffen you don't mind...Erin knows I'm reliable--I won't steal the pattern. =)Honestly, this dress is great, IMO. Yes, lose the sleeves and collar, and make it up in some contrasting fabric. Say, leopard print center and tie, with black sides for a slimming effect? Yowza!--Lydia

[La BellaDonna]

Actually, if you take off the collar, sleeves, and weird belted section, you'd have a perfectly nice miniskirted sideless surcoat. Now you just need a miniskirted kirtle to wear under it - or a turtleneck, tights and boots.

[ita]

She's a negro! But she's one of the gang!Then I noticed the collars, and was so traumatised that if it hadn't been for your commentary, I would have missed the cool shoes.

[Anonymous]

Red & white gingham, or an overall eyelet (no collar or sleeves), make the belt red in either case, and fork over those oxfords, missy. ;-)

[flea]

Unfortunately, all the vintage patterns I own (most of which are/were moy mother's, bought contemporarily) look eerily like this one. Down to the collars and shoes. My mother even made me a maternity dress out of one. I wore it as a housedress only (though it was confortable).

[Anonymous]

I really do love this website, it makes me smile and turn back to the SM (sewing Machine not S&M)content. And I really do want world peace...

[Anonymous]

I think Momself actually made me this jumper when I was 12. It looks VERY familiar.Did I ever tell you that I used to collect pattern books around that time? Back when I wanted to be a fashion illustrator ....Herself

[Gidget Bananas]

Oh, my, Herself, do you still have those pattern books?What WAS it about the 70s that made every designer stick a shirt collar on everything? Was it a reaction to the mock turtleneck that they stuck on everything in the 60s? Actually I think this dress could be improved if the collar were left off and it were made in a soft flowing fabric. It would have a rather kimono vibe then, although it would no longer be bullet-proof.So much for girl-gangs.

[Anonymous]

speaking of modifying dresses...I am looking for a simple princess seam full-length dress pattern with a full skirt. Does anyone have any suggestions? I've tried the basic locations and am having serious trouble.

[Floridaprincess]

Hello anonymousI have seen the pattern type that you are looking its been awhile. I look at loads of patterns all the time. I have 200 patterns right now. I will keep an eye out if I see what you are looking for I will post where I saw it.

[jenny]

Forget the dress: my first instinct is to approach the girl in the center and try to fix her HAIR! "C'mere, honey---let's just take out those nasty bobby-pins and fluff up the front a bit. Maybe if we parted it on the side..."

[jenny]

(cont'd)I agree about the fabric choice, gidgetbananas. I'm breaking out in a nasty sweat just thinking of that double-knit polyester. Change that to a super-soft linen or silky something, and I feel like I can breathe again. *whew*

[La BellaDonna]

Anonymous, get thee to the costume section of any of the Big Three (McCall's, Butterick, Simplicity). If you ignore the faery-princessness of the photographs (although why would you?) and concentrate on the line drawings that show the front and back views, you will find that the costume section is choked with full-length, full-skirted princess dresses, with the bonus of bunches of sleeve options to choose amongst. If you can't get to a store with the pattern books, you can go online and look at http://www.simplicity.com or http://www.butterick.com (these aren't links, just cut and paste). If you want to go the long way around, you can google on "alley cat scratch" and go through that site for their recommended patterns for Lord of the Rings dresses.

[Anonymous]

WANT the oxfords!I kinda like the collar--so sue me.

[Sara]

If you lopped off the sleeves, modified the collar (I'm partial to mandarins myself), and got rid of those pocket-looking things on the sides and just made princess seams, you'd have a respectable dress there.But I must confess -- I too am drawn helplessly to the shoes. The black ones look eerily similar to a pair I bought from a Paris flea market vendor, only to have them promptly stolen by my cousin. *grrrr*

[bj]

I actually made this dress for myself in about 1973 in high school home ec class. I used a blue cotton fabric with tiny white polka dots and I wore it with shoes very much like the ones on the pattern envelope. I looked cute in this dress.