It would be perfect if ...

Often, (deluded) people say, "Oh Erin, you'd be SO fun to shop with!" and then we actually GO shopping and I drive them to desperate tears. Because I am the queen of "This would be perfect if ..." in which I utter the above crazymaking phrase and proceed to (metaphorically) rip whatever it is that is being presented for consideration to (again metaphorical) shreds. Because the buttons are wrong. Or the shoulders are too puffy. Or the collar doesn't lie right, or any of ten thousand things that would not, in fact, ruin anyone's enjoyment but mine, and I'm not the one shopping.

After four or five hours of this most folks are like "please, please, just let me hand over a credit card for something! Anything! I don't care!"

(This doesn't hold true for vintage shopping, by the way. I have goaded many a strong woman into buying things that will never, ever be worn, simply by repeating "it's so beautiful and you will never find anything else like it!" until I overcome all resistance.)

So. ::rummaging around for a point, not finding one, dumping out handbag, ah! there it is:: Madelene (who is now pretty much an official member of the Dress A Day Street Team) sent this DVF dress from Neiman's and ... it would be perfect if: 1) it weren't polyester taffeta (jeebus, for $425, it should be rayon taffeta at least!) and 2) didn't have breast pocket flaps. And possibly (2.5) if it had slightly more tailored sleeves. I love the idea of the taffeta evening shirtdress, I just want it a little less ... shirty. Right now the rolled-up sleeves seem to say "Hey! I'm ready to party! Or perhaps to fund-raise! Let's go! Feed those orphans! Whoot!"

Also, I think any party dress that's good in black would be even BETTER in deep bottle green.

Other than that, it's perfect! Thanks, Madelene!

But let's not talk about the shoes. They look really painful. I think she's standing in that funny hip-cocked stance not because she's a model, but because she cannot put any weight on her feet.

Comments

[Jonquil]

Oh, DAMN.I'm sorry, that dress is perfect. Your proposed pocket flaps would completely ruin the sleek line of the top.I, on the other hand, would be sorely tempted to add a gorgeous black-lace camisole under it, because the V is too darned deep.

[Erin]

Look closer! The pocket flaps are already there. I want them OFF. :-)

[Jesse]

I love that dress entirely, pocket flaps and all. But maybe it's because I'm a fundraiser....Actually, that might really be, because odds are if I go to a black-tie event, I'm working.

[Jilli]

I like it except for the pocket flaps, this is true.It sounds like you're the same sort of shopping companion as The Husband - every possible tiny detail he doesn't like or thinks is off, he mentions. Where as I'm all "Wheeee! Fitted Victorian-esque velvet jacket! I wants it!" (To use a recent example.)

[enc]

The pockets just killed it for me. They reduce what was a lovely formal (or at least dressy) dress to almost daytime status. Chest pockets leave me cold, and I furthermore detest flap pockets. Leave pockets to safari-wear! Also the pockets and the fabric are incongruous. What gives?

[Jonquil]

I see no chest pockets. I think y'all are trying to Gaslight me.

[Jaxopolitan]

Don't do that. Don't mock the shoes.

[Erin]

Jonquil ... look closely right below the hair on the model's right side. See? Jessi ... the shoes are so POINTY! I spent eight hours in 3-inch heels yesterday and I just am defective in some way. Can't do it.

[sdn]

i have never understood double breast pockets on anything. in this case they're especially bizarre; they don't fit the feeling of the dress, especially the bow detailing and the skirt.and those shoes! i wonder if superskinny models have the same problems the rest of us do ...

[jrochest]

No, no, the trick to 3" superpointy shoes is to wear them to events where you'll be sitting, and then only for 3 or 4 hours, tops.The three cardinal stiletto rules are: try not to work in them, rarely stand in them and never walk in them. They are shoes to stand about and look ravishing in.

[Erin]

I don't think I can follow the stiletto rules. (Then again, I'm not good with rules in general ...) I like to be able to walk in my shoes. High heels are okay, but they have to be walkable. In fact, preferably, I should be able to walk all day in them, and keep up with six-foot-tall men if necessary. I'm not going to trot around after them like somebody taking dictation in a 1940s movie.

[Anonymous]

I totally did not notice the breast pockets when I sent this dress to you -- that certainly ruins the dress for the buxom, like moi. There's actually another version of this DVF dress out there (this is the Needless Markup exclusive version). If I find a photo of that again I'll send it to you.Ever yours in search of the Dress That Will Change My Life --Madelene