At least it won't make noise. I hope.

Okay, aside from the fact that it seems to be an embryonic Susan Dey in this picture, I'm not sure this two-piece dress has all that much redeeming value. I mean, doesn't this it look like something that keeps you safe during shipping? It's called a bubble stitch but I believe they left out the word "wrap."

I'm not a huge fan of crocheted dresses (or knitted ones, either, for that matter, remember the Technofur dress?) but this one seems more egregious than the usual run. You'd be so ... bumpy. I'd be worried about people trying compulsively to POP you. Not for the ticklish or those with a strong sense of personal space.

If you want to make this, though, and can fit in to a 1970s size 12 (or can scale it up, I know there are a lot of crocheters that read this) click on the picture to visit the pattern instructions.