Maybe I'm Just Cranky

Maybe I'm just a cranky person with no joy and no inner light, but when your web page says "A ROMANTIC FLOWING EMBRACE TO EACH OF YOU"? I will mock you. Sorry, that's just the way it is. Anyway, this fugitive tablecloth here pretending to be a dress (don't worry, Tommy Lee Jones is on the way to take it back to the linen closet where it belongs) is at uniqueunusualdress.com. Click on the image if you don't believe me. No price information -- I think "Tara" has to read your aura before she knows what you should pay.

Now, I'm totally not anti-tablecloth-as-clothing in all instances (I have a supercool 1970s Scandinavian round quasi-Marimekko one waiting to be turned into a skirt), but this one is just wrong. I mean, you can see the gravy stains from Thanksgiving! And, Tara, don't you think Grandma's gonna be pissed (I mean, "disappointed in you") when she finds out you took her satin bedspread, too?

Anyway, the whole site is cringeworthy in the extreme. There's a lot of "ART" and a lot of exhortations about beauty and peace and joy, which make me, at least, look around for my flamethrower. You may be driven to other kinds of antisocial behavior (like buying one of these atrocities). Scroll down on the linked page for a weird silver puffed-sleeve monstrosity in the background. Don't buy it, though -- I'm saving that one to be Morgan le Fay's costume when I film my all-cyborg retelling of the King Arthur mythos.

Ah, I'm just cranky. Sorry. I give A ROMANTIC FLOWING EMBRACE TO EACH OF YOU!