Maybe I'm Just Cranky

Maybe I'm just a cranky person with no joy and no inner light, but when your web page says "A ROMANTIC FLOWING EMBRACE TO EACH OF YOU"? I will mock you. Sorry, that's just the way it is. Anyway, this fugitive tablecloth here pretending to be a dress (don't worry, Tommy Lee Jones is on the way to take it back to the linen closet where it belongs) is at uniqueunusualdress.com. Click on the image if you don't believe me. No price information -- I think "Tara" has to read your aura before she knows what you should pay.

Now, I'm totally not anti-tablecloth-as-clothing in all instances (I have a supercool 1970s Scandinavian round quasi-Marimekko one waiting to be turned into a skirt), but this one is just wrong. I mean, you can see the gravy stains from Thanksgiving! And, Tara, don't you think Grandma's gonna be pissed (I mean, "disappointed in you") when she finds out you took her satin bedspread, too?

Anyway, the whole site is cringeworthy in the extreme. There's a lot of "ART" and a lot of exhortations about beauty and peace and joy, which make me, at least, look around for my flamethrower. You may be driven to other kinds of antisocial behavior (like buying one of these atrocities). Scroll down on the linked page for a weird silver puffed-sleeve monstrosity in the background. Don't buy it, though -- I'm saving that one to be Morgan le Fay's costume when I film my all-cyborg retelling of the King Arthur mythos.

Ah, I'm just cranky. Sorry. I give A ROMANTIC FLOWING EMBRACE TO EACH OF YOU!

Comments

[jrochest]

No, you are not cranky, just sane. The website is so awful that it effects my view of the dresses: every single one has a retch-inducing caption, and the cloying nasty taste gets worse and worse the deeper you go. My vote for the worst one: "She is dancing the dance of love in the forest of dreams, the magic awaits her!" Tara's mind and spirit may be 'felt in her art', but someone needs to refresh her on the use of the comma.

[Anonymous]

Apparently one can only wear her dresses while running in a meadow or on a beach with one's arms upraised.

[Anonymous]

No, you're not cranky - she's clearly a nutter!Thanks for the inspiring blog, now part of my AM routine.

[Erin]

Thanks!(And I have always felt that art and commas are not mutually exclusive, but instead in a deep and fulfilling relationship.)

[Anonymous]

Erin, you're gonna die here, but ... that store is here in my hometown. And Tara? Is a fucking fruitcake!!! I swear I have no idea how she's still in business. She's alternately new age light and screaming psycho bitch. She actually chased two of my friends out of her store for touching one of the dresses on the rack. Scary, scary, woman. Everything you're lead to believe from her website. I used to work at a vintage clothing store next door to her shop and everyday I worked I PRAYED she wouldn't come in to open her shop (it was about a 50/50 chance).--Lydia

[Erin]

Wow! I didn't even think to check where she was in meatspace. I should have, if only to avoid avoid avoid ... thanks for the confirmation of insanity. :-)

[Sarah]

Just read this. I know it's many long years since the origonal post, but I checked and Tara's shop/web site still exists. I particularly liked her invitation 'You are invited to enter Tara's interesting mind/spirit.' Just going through the archives of your blog and it's given me lots of giggles!